Alice In Wonderland An X Rated Musical Fantasy 1976 -

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS (a large, imperious woman in a red corset and garter belt, holding a riding crop) stands on a pedestal. Her court consists of shirtless men in playing-card briefs and women in heart-shaped pasties. The croquet balls are pink, round, and moaning. The mallets are... anatomical.

(not looking up) Cream or sugar, Alice?

The scene dissolves into a musical number: "A Very Merry Un-Birthday (To You and Your Zipper)." Lyrics include: "A very merry un-birthday / To your mushroom and my pear / A very merry un-birthday / Now let's get you out of your hair..." Alice In Wonderland An X Rated Musical Fantasy 1976

(surprised but amused) You're the key?

(spreading his arms) Late! You're late for a very important date! But then again, so am I. I've been waiting for a new tea bag all afternoon. THE QUEEN OF HEARTS (a large, imperious woman

(smiling) Does it ever end?

I'm whatever you want me to be. But right now, I'm very stiff. Very... unyielding. The mallets are

Mystic Films Director: Bud Townsend (uncredited pseudonym) Runtime: 85 minutes MPAA Rating: X (later re-rated NC-17 for home video)